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Put Some Rocks in Your Purse, Portis

Was a watchin’ the Ravens put a thumpin
on the Redskins last night.

Clinton Portis, the Redskins star running back,
broke a finger nail so he was sidelined after
the second quarter. TV cameras showed him
huddled under his warm winter coat while
his teammates finished the game.

Can’t understand how these guys make the jack
they do and cant find a way to play through
a little “Stinger”. Makes me ill.

Contrast Portis with another player.
I saw a long lost foe on the field.
Lorenzo Neal… still handing out the headaches
with his bone crushing blocks.

I played against Lorenzo back in 1991 in
the California Raison Bowl when we beat
Fresno State. He was a shorter guy with a low center
of gravity. Yes, I remember making a tackle
and holding on for dear life as he dragged me
and a couple other guys for an extra 5 or 8.

He was the type you had to go for the legs and
try and make a “cut tackle.” I see he picked up
a couple extra lbs these days and cant imagine
tackling him now.

Best try and go for the shoe string and avoid
his lumbering Tarzan thighs altogether.

Clinton can learn something from Lorenzo how to play
through pain … the announcers said Lorenzo
has the NFL record for playing in the most games
as a fullback over a 16 year career.

And I’ll bet LaDainian Tomlinson’s misses his old fullback.

Or Clinton can take a couple of Linebacker Fitness pills
and call me in the morning. It’ll toughen you
up while getting you fit.

Okay, I’ll take my Monday morning quarterback
jersey off and carry on.

Much linebacker love,

Vince Palko

P.S. I am in the works to reveal my new book…
and boy ole boy am I … X-sigh-ted! More on that to come.

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